God's goodness

1. Got my macbook (:

2. Still busy as ever with projects

3. Finished reading Sister's keepers (FINALLY!), started on Salem's Fall. 

4. Riverlife Church = H1N1 Communal Spreading Base

5. DMC04's BBQ cum Sleepover

6. JA Sleepover

Hmm, that's about it that is worthy of knowing about my life in the recent few weeks(:

But here's what's been on my mind...

Are you ready to die? Sadistic, I know. 

My answer is this: Yes, but my only regret is that many of my friends and friends of friends of friends (...) aren't safe. (If you get what I mean)

I've been thinking about death, not in an "emo" or sadistic way, but in a thoughtful way.

Many people avoid thinking or talking about dying, because, understandably, it is scary and uncertain, and of bad "karma" to talk about.

But unknowingly, I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I've been asking myself if I'm ready to just perish and leave the world as it is today. 

Selfishly, I would love to leave this place, for my real place in heaven, where it's flowing with milk and honey.

Mmhmm, I can smell the rich aroma of honey, yummy! hehe.

But I know God isn't done with me yet. He has yet to bring on the persecution, the discrimination, the insults and the growth in my life. I yet to stand strong and proclaim God's goodness without being ashamed of my faith, I yet to stand against what I know I shouldn't do. I yet to share the love that I've received so freely from my Abba Father, and say that God loves you too, even to those who don't believe.

So I know that death isn't my calling yet, but a revival in my land.

Although this might be so, I want to live life as if I'm dying tomorrow. To make my TODAYs count for God. It's really not easy to do it, but I'm trying. To make sure that the people around me everyday gets to experience the sweetness of God through me.

To SHSS cell, if you're reading this, let's press on into God's goodness through this time of dryness and trials. Let's seek what God wants to do, and not what is happening. Keep praying, stop questioning, cause God always has His purpose.

Trust God through everything, and everything includes un-trustable times.

Amanda Teo

A week to A term

First impressions counts,

that's what they all say.
"Sporty", "shy" and "silent",
but "smart" made my day.

Acquaintance to classmates,
and classmates to friends.
Second day of school,
and all the rules were bent.

Soon it all began,
with assignments and projects,
quizes and tests,
it made us feel like total rejects.

Groups were formed,
cliques no doubt,
but as a class so close,
no one was left out.

It soon became a deadline race,
an invisible competition.
Some work seemed like an impossible maze,
but we brought it to completion.

Oh my,
I think I'll continue some day.
Cause now I'm just chasing my bed,
like any other day.

"Friendly"
"Cool"
"Like a super smart girl, like from RGS or something"
"Look like office lady (HAHAHAHAHHA!)"
"Athletic, super sporty. I wouldn't have thought you're a dancer"

These are the first impressions some of my classmates had of me. Pretty interesting eh? Especially the third and fourth one, my goodness! Made me laugh out loud, literally. hahah!

But yes, I'm enjoying my class very very much!
I think we're like the coolest class in SP.
Who would go for a class outing to watch 17Again, when we're supposed to be doing flag day, meeting each other only on the second day?
Seriously, DMC04 rocks!!!!! :D

Really thank God for people like them, and i'm looking forward to monday, when school starts! (:
Oh and looking forward very much to my MANGO MILKSHAKE! woohoo! It's the bomb in SP man! You so gotta try it, seriously!

Another thing is,

I think I'm really enjoying ballroom (:

It's like I can finally say I can dance ballroom, after wanting to learn it like crazy since sec2/3.
It has got a hold in my heart, just like how I truly fell in love with ballet, during intermediate grade especially (: Thank you God, for this passion you've placed within me!

-MND

Life is like an apple.

To Isabel Phua:

Life is like an apple.
Be it red or green,
an apple.

Sometimes it seems so sweet,
cheerful and free,
and you love it to it's very bits.

Sometimes it's really sour,
gross and bitter,
and you feel like you've got no power.

I don't want this anymore!
I don't want the work, the stress,
and all this that bores.
I don't want to continue,
I wanna throw my apple,
away to the shore!

I know I once thought of that,
thought of giving up.
The friendships, the work,
and all the emotions involved.

It's not wrong.

Sometimes it's red,
causing a topsy turvy brake.
Sometimes it's green,
pushing us forward even when we're on a break.

Sometimes it's clean and fresh,
crunchy when you take a bite.
Sometimes it's rottn, and wormed,
awful to your sight.

But no matter what it is,
this is YOUR life!
Keep on running and overcoming,
even if you need to give it a dive.

I want my apple,
Lord I am Your clay,
to You, this life I live.
This is all you've gotta say.

Freaky Vision.

These are called Sclera Contact Lenses.
In my opinion, I think they're extremely cool, but dangerous. (:

When I first saw someone wearing it, it freaked me out, till I was literally speechless.

I was at work, and was about to tell him that he can slide down the slide when I saw his eyes, black sclera (the first picture). I seriously thought I saw a ghost or some scary guy, like the guy from P.U.S.H. Where his eyes can turn full black. Totally freaked me out. But thankfully I was wearing my sunglasses, so he could not see my widened eyes, not like I knew where he was looking though. But I assumed he was looking at me for directions, so I just waved my hand in the direction for him to do down the slide. -quivers-

I never knew such maniacal stuff actually existed.
It's totally out of one's mind.

There's also the bionic lenses, some wacky whiz kicked off.
It acts as a binoculars in your eyes, so you can see really far and clear, which allows you to spy into your neighbours house for a whole day without being noticed. But this is still under much progress, as the scientists are searching for a way to allow energy flow into the contacts for the electronics to run. Incredible spyware. :)

There's also... eye TATTOO!
Like literally tattoo in the sclera. It's crazy and unnecessary, which I think only the brainsick people would do. It's nauseating, i tell you. Go watch the youtube on it. Gross to the max!

But well, just to put my thought down about this stuff. (:

-MND

Searching for the answer.

Dai Yang Tian,
an actor from China, who recently acted in Little Nonya as a photographer,
and is acting in The Table of Glory, starting this wed.

He was interviewed in today's TODAY paper, on page 24.
And I found his answer extremely intriguing,
I'm not sure if you can read what is in the picture below.
But his last sentence says,
"I'm searching for the answer to the question
of why each of us exists in this world."

I was awed when I read it.
And I thought, a busy actor with an exciting and interesting life actually wonders about the meaning of life,
what about the people around us? Our friends, schoolmates and even family members?
It is so important for us to go out and talk to the people around us, and share our meaning in life, to share our whole purpose of walking our streets of life. To step out of our little circle around us, to those who are out of our tiny circle. It is about time to expand our circle so that lives can be lived with a meaning, and a good meaning at that.

But other then the people around us, like dai yang tian, who's from China.
It's time we step up, and step out to other countries to reach them. Right?! RIGHT!
hahah! But yeah, just a a titbit for your mind (:

-MND

Fear to Fail

Joachim, thank you!

After having a good talk with joachim after service just now,
it really made me realise that I've got to do something about this fear within me, this fear of failure.
Not the failure in exams or tests, but the failure to reach what I've expected, the failure to reach the goal I aimed for. I guess, not really academically, but in my ministry, in dance and in my personal life.

i AM scared to fail.

And I am aware of it, but I just never got down to challenging this fear, to challenge and overcome it, to overcome and testify that I'm more than a conqueror!
I've never thought that this fear would hinder me in any major "earth-quake" way, but I know that if I do not overcome it, it will. Because there's always this question behind my mind, "what if I fail?" .

I think I am not scared of what happens after the fall, but rather the fall, because falling hurts, it leaves scars and I don't want to fall.
I'm scared of failing, not how I'll get up, cause I know I can get up with the support and guidance from the God and the people around me.
But it's that fear of failing and letting people, God and ultimately myself down.

I don't like failure, no one does, but I hate it, I'm scared of it.
I'd rather give up when I know I'll fail, then go on and fail in the end, because I don't like the idea of failing, the idea of hitting the mark below my aim. I'd rather not start a project with an unclear end, than to begin the project and have a probability of failure staring at me, cause I don't want to set my aims high and disappoint myself.

But I'm challenging myself to overcome it, to challenge situations even when I know I may fail, to jump over hurdles and fall, and fall, and fall over and over again. Because after every fall, I'll learn and improve, failures are there to pump me higher, and I'm taking it on.
There's no particular thing in mind that I want to challenge, but if there is, I'll remember this post and dare to try and dare to fail.

Dare to fail.

-MND