Fear to Fail

Joachim, thank you!

After having a good talk with joachim after service just now,
it really made me realise that I've got to do something about this fear within me, this fear of failure.
Not the failure in exams or tests, but the failure to reach what I've expected, the failure to reach the goal I aimed for. I guess, not really academically, but in my ministry, in dance and in my personal life.

i AM scared to fail.

And I am aware of it, but I just never got down to challenging this fear, to challenge and overcome it, to overcome and testify that I'm more than a conqueror!
I've never thought that this fear would hinder me in any major "earth-quake" way, but I know that if I do not overcome it, it will. Because there's always this question behind my mind, "what if I fail?" .

I think I am not scared of what happens after the fall, but rather the fall, because falling hurts, it leaves scars and I don't want to fall.
I'm scared of failing, not how I'll get up, cause I know I can get up with the support and guidance from the God and the people around me.
But it's that fear of failing and letting people, God and ultimately myself down.

I don't like failure, no one does, but I hate it, I'm scared of it.
I'd rather give up when I know I'll fail, then go on and fail in the end, because I don't like the idea of failing, the idea of hitting the mark below my aim. I'd rather not start a project with an unclear end, than to begin the project and have a probability of failure staring at me, cause I don't want to set my aims high and disappoint myself.

But I'm challenging myself to overcome it, to challenge situations even when I know I may fail, to jump over hurdles and fall, and fall, and fall over and over again. Because after every fall, I'll learn and improve, failures are there to pump me higher, and I'm taking it on.
There's no particular thing in mind that I want to challenge, but if there is, I'll remember this post and dare to try and dare to fail.

Dare to fail.

-MND