My God is so Big!

For these past three days, from monday till today (wednesday),
I told myself that I have to set aside time to read God's word and pray for the very reason that I've been wasting my time everyday on the computer, TV, food and more food.
So I told God that I'll commit three days onto Him, and spend my entire three days with Him, not just knowing He's there with me, but WITH Him (:
And I must say that it was fulfilling and fruitful (yeah, i mean fruitful literally too, oranges overload my fridge!)!

On monday, I took out the guitar and began strumming. Played some easy songs, and came upon the song untitled "As I Pray". Here's the lyrics:

Here I am, my Father.

Waiting for Your word.

Speak and I will hear You,

show me how to serve.

The man who needs Your mercy,
the child who's lost her way.
Lead me by Your spirit, as I pray.

As I pray,pray, for the people on your heart,
as I pray, pray, for the people on your hear,
I believe that if I seek You,
I can touch the people on Your heart.

"How apt?!" I thought.
'Cause the purpose of coming before God was really my ministry, my cell, my lovely members.
I was questioning God how He wants me to serve, to lead these young ones who are growing in Him.

I found it extremely hard to pray,
I mean like REALLY pray, with all your heart and might.
Then it occurred to me that it's probably because I never really formed a habit of praying till my lungs burst or something, maybe I did before, but never a habit. It was a never a habit to intercede, to pray... like never before.

So I decided to go for an easier option, worship.
I spent the day staying in God's presence, worshipping Him, and really, dealing more with God about me, more than my ministry. But I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed leading myself into that sacred place, where.. I could not really see His face, but I knew I had entered into that inner courts.

And I thank God for bringing me there (:

So I tried praying again on tuesday, but I just couldn't concentrate.
So I read, read the book of matthew and warrior chicks by holly wagner (she's really funny)!
And I got reminded of God's super duper love for me through His sacrifice of Jesus.

Seriously, what great measures of love!

I was awed...

Then I found myself asking God for that heart to love my sheeps, to love those under me, so much so that they matter a whole lot to me. So much so that I would go and do that extra mile for them, because I have been given that authority to lead and guide them. And if I do not love them, and out of love, support and guide them, who will?

Heart of deep deep love! <3

Now, the third day.
(you're probably thinking, worship, read, prayer now?)
and you're right!!

I got down before God, sitting down (hehe! i find kneeling sore-roful), but with a serious and yearning heart.
And I told God my heart's desires. (:
It was marvellous! Really.

And I know that He is preparing me for a road of leadership that I've never been through before.
So God, I'm ready, I'm ready!

So to SHSS cell (if you actually know/read my blog:)
I LOOOOOVE YOU! (;

ps//: if you actually did read the whole load above,
thank you! (:

-MND