I'm listing, again & again.

(Lists have became my bestfriend)

What you're about to read may not make sense.

1,Everyone's gone, except maybe one or two, therefore I'm only really talking to God. I don't like it when I've got no one.

2, God's stretching me, and it's getting way too tiring and mind draining. I know it's time to surrender and let go, but it's tough when there's too much to be done.

3, Friends are friends, but what about close friends? Hmm, it's coming. I can feel God moving, I know something's happening in this dream of mine (:

4, Dance greeted me with huge blisters, then again, no pain no gain.

5, In my mind and body, my life's a mess.

In my spirit, my life's growing.

In my heart, it's cluttered.

Questions, no answers yet.

Fire ball.

Well, it's 2:08am now, so it's late.

But I felt like typing stuff down, stuff about PJ, about God.

PJ is my youth pastor, MY pastor. The first pastor that played a major role in my life.

Though I've never exactly lead/work with her in specific projects/missions, listening to her preach, teach and challenge has changed my life.

PJ is a dynamic woman, one who speaks with passion and zeal. Someone who challenges us to go beyond our limits, into God's limits, one with authority and yet gentle to our spirit. One who's prayers at the altar has changed my life, one who fasted and loved us just because she did.

Someone I respect and honour, someone who has inspired me to live my life for God. Someone who taught me leadership, who taught me what it means to be a disciple of Christ. The person who dreamt Godly dreams, and believed in faith that it would come to past. One who believed in EVERY young person.

PJ was the one who called me 'fire ball', cause she believes that God's gonna use me to spread God's word like a fire ball. She's the one who prayed over my life for the anointing of God, who baptised me in the Spirit, who comforted my spirit with God's words through her. 

Megalife is where she is, because of PJ, because of her obedience to be used by God in that season of her life. Goodbyes are always tough, but I didn't think it would be THIS tough. But we all know, it's all about God's timing and obedience. So PJ, go! Cause Megalife is always behind you, always supporting you, I'm always behind your back cause I love you, my youth pastor! Thank you for believing in me (:

"Fire ball"

Change

ENFPs are known as the 'Advocate', and are visionaries.

Primary function: Extraverted intuition

Secondary function: Introverted feeling

Tertiary function: Extraverted thinking

Least function: Introverted sensing

ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental. 

I guess I've not changed much on the surface, but weighing the percentages, I have!

I was a HIGH extravert, but now I'm in between, just slanting to the extravert side. 

It's made me realise something, people change.

We do change, we're changing every second, every moment in our life, just not drastic changes. It is only when we look back after a few years that we see a change in ourselves. We may not realise that we're changing, but we are.

But it's not all about the change, it's about the everyday decisions we make that affects how we are changed, and that's the important part. Our daily living is going to bring us higher, or lower, we'll never be stagnant through our lives. Our opinions, view points and ideas will change, maybe not today or next week, but over the years.

'Change is constant', and change is something we have to embrace.

3.731

Mood: Ecstatic

Level: 9

Thank you, God! Thank you thank you thank you!!! :D

Received an email from school :

Singapore Polytechnic 2009/2010 S1 Examination Results

Student ID: 0940393
Name: AMANDA TEO HUI PING

Module Code - Grade
-------------------
MS1515 - A ITB
SC7701 - A ICP
SP1121 - A ONOW
LC1133 - A OC
SC7702 - DIST DB
LC1134 - B IMW
BA0289 - B+ FOM

Really thank God for this! Really thanking God like crazy!! HEHEHEHEH.

Yipee yah yah yipee yipee yah!

3.731!

Surrender

I was just looking through christian songs online and came across this song by BarlowGirl called Surrender. It brought me to tears as it is a song reflective of what I've been going through. So just to share with you what's been on my heart, here's the lyrics:

"My hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years I’ve shaped each one
reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you’re asking me to show
what I’m holding Oh so tightly
Can’t open my hand can’t let go
Why does it matter
Why should I show you
Why can’t you let me go

(Chorus:)
Surrender, Surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can’t you see
My dream are me, My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
and that you want the best for my life
Told me the world has yet to see
what you can do with one
that’s committed to your call
I know of course what I should do
That I can’t hold these dreams forever
But if I give them now to you
Will you take them
away forever or can I dream again"

The second verse is really my heart's cry at the moment.

Keep me in your prayers if you are a christian (: God bless!

21st Post

Well, I wanted to leave my 21st post for the 21st of August, but decided not to. Haha.

Anyway, being in a polytechnic is seriously like a roller coaster ride. At one point, you're rushing and going crazy with datelines, and the next moment, you're just slacking off, letting your mind wander off into the wonderful korean/taiwan dramas world. (:

These few days have been a real roller coaster ride, and this moment, it is probably the part where you scream really loudly as the roller coaster goes down the track. The point where you don't exactly "care" about the things around you, and just scream to have all the fun you can have. Cause before you know, the roller coaster is going to escalate, pumping your heart like a motor pump, stressing you out. And I think that escalation is going to come tmr, when I have to rush my IMW assignment (if I don't do it tonight :P ). Haha.

But well, I've realised that I have become more and more care-free, to put it in a nice way, which actually means care-less. I find myself becoming less bothered about everything in my life, leaving things to settle by itself, or leaving work to the last minute. This is extremely bad, and has to be changed. Then again, it's difficult to change, ironic to "change is the only constant". 

Anyway, on another point, I'm feeling totally lost. I used to have many dreams, dreams for my life and my future. I had it all planned out when I was in sec 3 and early sec 4. I'll study dance, after graduating, I'll get married while at the same time teach ballet. Or if I get a chance, then join a dance company. Then I'll get kids and live life with dance as my life. 

But, now, haha. I feel like I'm on this island, no where near any other country or human. It's a weird feeling actually. Like there's no end goal, there's no aim, nothing to work towards. 

I'm too used to having dreams, that without them, I'm like a person living day by day, expecting nothing and working towards nothing. Maybe this is why I've become more care-less, since there's nothing to work towards to in my personal life, no dream.

Maybe it's time, to dream again. 

But what dream?

God, I wish for a dream for my life, a goal, a place, an aim that can motivate me to work harder, please God. Thank You! (:

Obstacles

I've always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you've got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.

- Chuck Norris