Anyway, being in a polytechnic is seriously like a roller coaster ride. At one point, you're rushing and going crazy with datelines, and the next moment, you're just slacking off, letting your mind wander off into the wonderful korean/taiwan dramas world. (:
These few days have been a real roller coaster ride, and this moment, it is probably the part where you scream really loudly as the roller coaster goes down the track. The point where you don't exactly "care" about the things around you, and just scream to have all the fun you can have. Cause before you know, the roller coaster is going to escalate, pumping your heart like a motor pump, stressing you out. And I think that escalation is going to come tmr, when I have to rush my IMW assignment (if I don't do it tonight :P ). Haha.
But well, I've realised that I have become more and more care-free, to put it in a nice way, which actually means care-less. I find myself becoming less bothered about everything in my life, leaving things to settle by itself, or leaving work to the last minute. This is extremely bad, and has to be changed. Then again, it's difficult to change, ironic to "change is the only constant".
Anyway, on another point, I'm feeling totally lost. I used to have many dreams, dreams for my life and my future. I had it all planned out when I was in sec 3 and early sec 4. I'll study dance, after graduating, I'll get married while at the same time teach ballet. Or if I get a chance, then join a dance company. Then I'll get kids and live life with dance as my life.
But, now, haha. I feel like I'm on this island, no where near any other country or human. It's a weird feeling actually. Like there's no end goal, there's no aim, nothing to work towards.
I'm too used to having dreams, that without them, I'm like a person living day by day, expecting nothing and working towards nothing. Maybe this is why I've become more care-less, since there's nothing to work towards to in my personal life, no dream.
Maybe it's time, to dream again.
But what dream?
God, I wish for a dream for my life, a goal, a place, an aim that can motivate me to work harder, please God. Thank You! (:
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