Surrender

I was just looking through christian songs online and came across this song by BarlowGirl called Surrender. It brought me to tears as it is a song reflective of what I've been going through. So just to share with you what's been on my heart, here's the lyrics:

"My hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years I’ve shaped each one
reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you’re asking me to show
what I’m holding Oh so tightly
Can’t open my hand can’t let go
Why does it matter
Why should I show you
Why can’t you let me go

(Chorus:)
Surrender, Surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can’t you see
My dream are me, My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
and that you want the best for my life
Told me the world has yet to see
what you can do with one
that’s committed to your call
I know of course what I should do
That I can’t hold these dreams forever
But if I give them now to you
Will you take them
away forever or can I dream again"

The second verse is really my heart's cry at the moment.

Keep me in your prayers if you are a christian (: God bless!

21st Post

Well, I wanted to leave my 21st post for the 21st of August, but decided not to. Haha.

Anyway, being in a polytechnic is seriously like a roller coaster ride. At one point, you're rushing and going crazy with datelines, and the next moment, you're just slacking off, letting your mind wander off into the wonderful korean/taiwan dramas world. (:

These few days have been a real roller coaster ride, and this moment, it is probably the part where you scream really loudly as the roller coaster goes down the track. The point where you don't exactly "care" about the things around you, and just scream to have all the fun you can have. Cause before you know, the roller coaster is going to escalate, pumping your heart like a motor pump, stressing you out. And I think that escalation is going to come tmr, when I have to rush my IMW assignment (if I don't do it tonight :P ). Haha.

But well, I've realised that I have become more and more care-free, to put it in a nice way, which actually means care-less. I find myself becoming less bothered about everything in my life, leaving things to settle by itself, or leaving work to the last minute. This is extremely bad, and has to be changed. Then again, it's difficult to change, ironic to "change is the only constant". 

Anyway, on another point, I'm feeling totally lost. I used to have many dreams, dreams for my life and my future. I had it all planned out when I was in sec 3 and early sec 4. I'll study dance, after graduating, I'll get married while at the same time teach ballet. Or if I get a chance, then join a dance company. Then I'll get kids and live life with dance as my life. 

But, now, haha. I feel like I'm on this island, no where near any other country or human. It's a weird feeling actually. Like there's no end goal, there's no aim, nothing to work towards. 

I'm too used to having dreams, that without them, I'm like a person living day by day, expecting nothing and working towards nothing. Maybe this is why I've become more care-less, since there's nothing to work towards to in my personal life, no dream.

Maybe it's time, to dream again. 

But what dream?

God, I wish for a dream for my life, a goal, a place, an aim that can motivate me to work harder, please God. Thank You! (:

Obstacles

I've always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you've got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.

- Chuck Norris

A Fork and A Spoon.

Hey there baby girl! (:

Okay, not much of a baby anymore, but well... haha.

Anyway, this post is rather delayed due to my busy schedule :P Hehe. But nevertheless, here's a birthday post for you! (:

Not just to wish you a happy birthday, or just to tell you how much i really love you.

But really about how much you mean to me. 

Even though we don't meet often, nor do we actually talk often, but I know deep down within me, with the deepest conviction, that you'll always be there for me. Likewise, i'm here for you too.

I can't explain how much you mean to me as a friend, but just for the sake of putting it into words, it's like you're the fork and i'm the spoon (or the other way round). We can function by ourselves, and be of good use actually. But when you put us together, the world just expands. 

Like, hmm, I need you there to bring out the full potential in me, like how a fork complements a spoon. We are not similar in every way, in fact, our differences are quite a few, but somehow it has made our friendship feel so real and important to me (:

So yeah, just want to let you know that you're one of my most important and closest friend, and that I really do love you (;

Marina barrage soon?!?!? :D

Love you lots! <3

One life, three passions.

Thrusting her heavy bag over her shoulders, she stepped out into the afternoon sun and allowed the UV rays to sink under her skin. She plugged into her iPod, and listened to the soft piano melodies that floated into her ears, tunes that made her insides dance pirouettes and jetes. It was like a ritual for her, to prepare her soul to dance, by centering herself into the music of Swan Lake, Nut Cracker, Beauty and the Beast, and other ballet pieces. 

She walked along the road towards the bus pick-up point, passing by a convex traffic mirror. She came to a stop as she realised she was in her cargos, tee and dunks. "What am I doing in my hip-hop outfit?!" Her mind began to run through her busy schedule, and made a mental note that hip-hop lesson is the day after. 

She then reached deep into her duffel bag to see if she brought her leotard and tights to change into, but only pulled out her long, soft, satin black skirt. She dug further, and pulled out her ballroom shoe, towel, water, everything except what she needed for her ballet lesson.

She stood there confused and blurred, and asked herself, "So, what dance am I doing?"

What am I doing? 

When's "the end"?

I hate the feeling of laziness, when you know you're not that tired, but just using it as an excuse to pull yourself away from the work that you have to do. It's probably something that everyone has gone through before, or maybe it's just me (crap),  but I know that I shouldn't let laziness get a hold on me. 

Anyway, I have been doing research on the different views of the end times from different religions for one of my projects. I've found some pretty interesting view points and opinions, some that contradicts my beliefs, some that agrees. I've never really studied other religion, nor believed in any other god except Jesus, since I was born into a christian family.

I thank God for placing me into a family that shines for Him, into a family where I know love exists. But I always wonder what life would be like if I was never a christian, or if I became a christian only after exposing myself to other religions. Would I still come to know Jesus, after believing in other gods?

The point is, sadly, I'll never know, unless I re-live my life, which is something I'll never do.

Have you ever wondered what life means?

Why did religions exist in the first place? 

Whether fate is real?

If ghosts really float around on Earth, like scary caspers?

What the end times will be like?

If the world will really end on 21 dec 2012 as the Mayans predicted? (though the bible says that no one can predict the coming of Christ)

What heaven and hell is?

What God looks like?

Why are there so many different religions, and forms of god?

Who are we?

God's goodness

1. Got my macbook (:

2. Still busy as ever with projects

3. Finished reading Sister's keepers (FINALLY!), started on Salem's Fall. 

4. Riverlife Church = H1N1 Communal Spreading Base

5. DMC04's BBQ cum Sleepover

6. JA Sleepover

Hmm, that's about it that is worthy of knowing about my life in the recent few weeks(:

But here's what's been on my mind...

Are you ready to die? Sadistic, I know. 

My answer is this: Yes, but my only regret is that many of my friends and friends of friends of friends (...) aren't safe. (If you get what I mean)

I've been thinking about death, not in an "emo" or sadistic way, but in a thoughtful way.

Many people avoid thinking or talking about dying, because, understandably, it is scary and uncertain, and of bad "karma" to talk about.

But unknowingly, I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I've been asking myself if I'm ready to just perish and leave the world as it is today. 

Selfishly, I would love to leave this place, for my real place in heaven, where it's flowing with milk and honey.

Mmhmm, I can smell the rich aroma of honey, yummy! hehe.

But I know God isn't done with me yet. He has yet to bring on the persecution, the discrimination, the insults and the growth in my life. I yet to stand strong and proclaim God's goodness without being ashamed of my faith, I yet to stand against what I know I shouldn't do. I yet to share the love that I've received so freely from my Abba Father, and say that God loves you too, even to those who don't believe.

So I know that death isn't my calling yet, but a revival in my land.

Although this might be so, I want to live life as if I'm dying tomorrow. To make my TODAYs count for God. It's really not easy to do it, but I'm trying. To make sure that the people around me everyday gets to experience the sweetness of God through me.

To SHSS cell, if you're reading this, let's press on into God's goodness through this time of dryness and trials. Let's seek what God wants to do, and not what is happening. Keep praying, stop questioning, cause God always has His purpose.

Trust God through everything, and everything includes un-trustable times.

Amanda Teo